Sunday, September 20, 2009
Dunkin Donuts held a contest where people could vote on what kind of doughnut they'd like to see come to fruition. Introducing the Heath Bar-covered doughnut. Single-handedly saving you the trouble of opening a candy wrapper. Available for a limited time or until your heart explodes through your chest cavity. Putting that warning on the side was thoughtful, but I don't care how bad your nut allergy is -- the almonds are the least of your worries in this scenario.
I'm reminded of John Oliver's hilarious stand-up bit about the Dominos Oreo Pizza being the most patriotic of American foodstuffs, and how we should hang it from flagpoles:
"Because that is the biggest imaginable ‘fuck you’ you could possibly issue to terrorists. By hoisting the Oreo Pizza up a flagpole, what you’re essentially saying is, 'There is nothing you can do to us we are not already doing to ourselves.'"