Monday, July 27, 2009
I was flipping television channels just now and came across pastor Joel Osteen, who was delivering his weekly sermon to Lakewood Church (and the rest of us, via ABC Family). I’ve never seen his sermons before so I watched for a few minutes. It was pretty much what I expected until he started quoting Bible verses. Mind you, the theme of today’s sermon was “Don’t Have A Critical Spirit” so my hands are a little tied here, but I will say this: it’s been awhile since I’ve read Matthew, but I definitely missed the parts about telephone poles and boomerangs on the first read-through. I can only pray that next week Jesus will be referring to his disciples as his entourage. If you’re going to go for the update, really go for the update, you know?
And speaking of updates, after those riveting pull quotes, you better believe I went to joelosteen.com to see what else he had to offer. What I found is that this week's message is already available for online purchase. Impressive! But can it recommend other life lessons I might be interested in? And tell me in what order they're ranked in terms of popularity and allow me to debate their merits with other customers in a protected forum under a catchy pseudonym? If not, I may have to take my business elsewhere. I hear the Jews are pretty good with media.