Monday, May 11, 2009

It Should Come As No Surprise That I Don't Remember Taking 99% Of These Photos

For my potential last night on earth, I gathered a few friends together for an ironic dinner at Olive Garden. After many bottles of Sutter Home were consumed, we sojourned to the Times Square Madame Tussauds wax museum to molest some statues. Joining me were my girl Sara and another friend who asked not to be identified because he (uh, or she. you never know. going on the clothes alone it could also be Ellen DeGeneres) takes care with how he portrays himself to the public. As you can see, this is not a concern of mine.



The best part of the museum is the American Idol section where they let you karaoke before a wax Simon Cowell and when you're done, the house deejay hits a button and one of Cowell's pre-recorded withering comments comes over the loudspeaker to crush your dreams. It is absolutely fantastic and I forgot about it entirely until I woke up the next day and found a card in my purse reading

WE'VE RECORDED YOUR AMERICAN IDOL PERFORMANCE OF:


(the blank filled in with handwriting) 'Midnight Train to Georgia'

Present this card to the host to purchase a custom DVD, complete with titles, them [sic] music and STARRING YOU!


We were being filmed????? Hilarious. Sara informs me that TLC's "Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls" was also given its due. Go there, man.

Fauxbama


The next day I have the following conversation with my friend on the right...

Me: Who is that guy in the red shirt with us in the Hulk picture? Is he part of the display? I must have had more wine than I realized.

Friend: That I don’t remember him is also a red flag.

I'll be with you in a minute, Evander.

I have a suspicion the Victoria Beckham also freelances in the '80s wing as Michael J. Fox.

Apropos of nothing, gang signs with Julia Roberts

Motorboating fake Tyra Banks.

3 comments:

Clinton said...

If the filename for your motorboating picture ends in "2", that means there must be another, possibly more incriminating, picture of said motorboating. Good judgment demands you to post that picture.

Noelle Hancock said...

haha. that's because I cropped my friend out of the first photo and resaved it.

Lindsey said...

What is it about a wax museum that is so hysterical? Do you remember that i had a FRAMED picture in my room growing up with a wax figure/chauffer that I took in London? Bizarre decision on my parents' part to frame that one.