Sunday, January 04, 2009

Give Dick a Rest

Mark: What did you wind up doing on New Year's Eve? Did Nick make it back in time so you could watch Strokey Dick Clark slur his way through the final seconds of 08 together?

Me: Yes. He sounded like a ventriloquist doll sitting on the knee of Mongo from the Heathcliff cartoons. In fact, I'm pretty sure I saw him just outside of the frame.


I hate change in general, so it was always comforting having an ageless Dick Clark usher me into the new year. But enough's enough, ABC. Let's not force the 79-year-old stroke victim stay up past midnight to converse with Ryan Seacrest, m'kay?


Anonymous said...

Millions of Viewers couldn't agree with you more. We all wish Dick Clark well. But give him a rest. It's so painful to watch him speak. I've been watching your favorite cable channel Fox! :-)

Anonymous said...

Ouch, that's smarts! I thought this was an ANTI penis post. rofl

Anonymous said...

By the way, in this day & age are parents still naming their children names like "DICK"?? rofl

Dismas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dismas said...

Dick Clark's still alive?

Only one penis joke. I'll check back tomorrow, and will expect a change in the statistics.

If you think Dick's a funny name. In high school we had a guy whose last name was Hoff. His dad named him Jack. He hated his dad.

At work there's a guy named Robert Head. Nobody calls him Bob. I told him it's a good thing your parents didn't name You Richard.
He said that's my middle name.

Some people's parents, huh.

Anonymous said...

ha ha he cant move half his face, what a douche

Anonymous said...

My ALL TIME favorite name is Mike Hunt. LOL