Me: I’m on a BUS right now. Going to the LIBRARY. Can you imagine? It’s bizarro New York!
Jessica: Why?! The big library?
Me: Naw, the one all the way up at Lincoln Center. Only branch that has the book I need.
One bus ride, one subway transfer and one hour later…
Me: PROOF OF ADDRESS??? Proof of goddamn address to check out a library book???? After coming all the way up here?!
Jessica: What does that even mean? Like a ConEd bill? Your subway card and your rage should be enough proof that you live here.