“Do not accept packages from strangers that you do not know well.” Does anybody copy edit these announcements before they go out or are they just winging it back there?
Has anyone ever gone to the airport chapel? Do we even have those in New York airports? If so, how long until we turn it into a nightclub?
My carry-on bag is always too heavy to hang on the hook on the bathroom stall door in the airport, so I end up having to put my bag on the floor. This makes me think of this statistic I once read stating that over 60% of purses have fecal matter on them from people placing them on the floor in bathrooms. When I repeated this stat to my friend Lindsey, she replied, “My question is -- who are all these people shitting on the floor?”
I have to say, I’m not a fan of the automatic toilet flush. I always get really stressed out trying to keep both butt cheeks on the seat while I’m wiping. Because if one of them lifts off you get the pre-emptive flush, which not only splatters your butt with used toilet water, but then you end up having to flush twice, so everyone thinks you just did some really nasty business that merited the double-flush. I’d rather return to a simpler time when I flushed the handle with my foot.
Why does “courtesy boarding” permit parents with children under age five to board the plane first? Shouldn’t they have to board the plane last as a courtesy to everyone else? Or preferably, not at all?
Every time my parents pick me up from the airport I have to ask, “What color is this year’s SUV?”