Saturday, November 08, 2008

In Which the Camera Adds 10 Lbs To The Lower Quadrant Of My Face



I like to think that I'm a decent-looking person when viewed straight on. My three-quarters profile, however, is a different story entirely, a story which should be titled "Damn, Is That Really What My Chin And Jawline Look Like From The Side?" It's like the bottom half of my face said to the upper half of my face, "Excuse me while I slip into something a little more Wynonna Judd." I always forget this until I go on television and they shoot me from that "looking off in the distance while addressing someone outside the frame" angle. (Not that this actually matters or you actually care. I just like criticizing my outward appearance because it keeps me from focusing on my inner moral deficiencies.) This was me during an appearance on Fox News' "Red Eye" last Thursday. I made lots of goofy expressions. Here they are!

The Happy Face

The Shocked Face

The Dubious Face

The O Face

The Outraged Face

The Semi-Outraged Face

The Face I Will Never Be Making Again

13 comments:

Cameron Newland said...

What'd they have you talking about on camera?

Noelle Hancock said...

Obama's puppy, Rahm Emanuel, Craigslist, prostitution, the recession, Silvio Berlusconi, etc.

Jessica said...

But your hair looks amazing!

BCA said...

Those are all scary topics that could contort and distort any face, even yours.

Anonymous said...

That was a nice dress you had on. Fox should hire you as a reporter/anchor!

Your Vampire said...

Watching you on this episode now. funny... There is nothing bout your outward appearance that needs criticizing!

..and the face you say you'll never make again? hot!


(cat call whistle whistle)

MIke said...

You look exactly like Jessica Simpson with that hair (that's a compliment. I promise). You need to start marketing yourself as the version of Jessica Simpson people actually want to listen to.

I *Heart* You said...

i know you hate the last one but your cheekbones look stellar. :)

saramginer said...

I second the awesome hair comment - WOWZA!

John said...

I was going to leave a comment that the "O face" was my favorite, then remembered this is the internet and that comment would probably be taken in the creepiest way possible.

Anonymous said...

Is this clip going to be on YouTube?

Noelle Hancock said...

I hope not! haha.

Lorena said...

I hope the face you will never be making again makes multiple appearances. I love it.