It's Labor Day and I'm laboring. (Or I'm "labouring," as my alternate, British personality would say.)
Specifically, I'm laboring over the problem of rap alter egos. I need to interview Ice Cube for a magazine profile I’m working on and have spent the last 20 minutes writing an email to his publicist to request a Q&A. Why 20 minutes? Because I have no idea what to call him. You can only say Ice Cube once in one email before it starts to sound awkward and I blew my load in the second line: “I wanted to see if I could grab Ice Cube on the phone for a quick interview and I understand that you’re his publicist?”
How do I refer to him after that? Ice? Mr. Cube? I can’t just keep referring to him as “him” or “he” without sounding biblical. I looked up his birth name to see if that might help but it’s O’Shea Jackson. I'm not comfortable calling anyone O’Shea and Mr. Jackson just makes me think of Outkast's “Sorry Ms. Jackson” and then I get that song in my head and start singing, “Oooooh, I am fo’ reeeaall!” Then I lose track of what I was doing and...yeah.