Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Why Is Everyone Screaming Obscenities At Me Lately?

To think this once seemed innocent.

So I’m standing on the corner of Houston and 1st Avenue waiting to cross when one of those big tourist buses runs the red light. The little neon white guy is telling us that it’s okay to traverse the crosswalk, but we can’t because this bus driver thought, “Oh why not?” and decided to go for it. Traffic is backed up and the bus ass is hanging out into the street blocking the pedestrians' way. Everyone else is shaking their heads in disdain and making a big show of walking around it but I'm not in a big hurry so I stay on the curb listening to my iPod, waiting for it to move on. Just as it lurches forward I go to push my sunglasses back up the bridge of my nose but accidentally use my middle finger, so it looks like I'm surreptitiously flipping them off (and it really was an accident; when I flip bird, I do it with purpose). I quickly exchange it for my pointer finger but the damage is already done. As the bus glides past, the driver actually opens that little door and shouts, “Fuck you!” This may be the closest a tourist bus has ever come to the real New York.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Noelle, I think you are so so funny. I came across your blog a little while ago and it is just the funniest thing I ever read. (I had to go back and read all the posts from before). What's weird is that I have a lot of the same thoughts....obsessed with law and order svu, i also think there is no way homeless people can be fat... Anyways, I hope you find a great writing job because you have a great skill. Also please post more because I get bored at work frequently and need funny distractions!

Anonymous said...

maybe they'd take you back at usweekly to write their comments lol since you launched their site and all you know lol reminds me of Al Gore who invented the internet

Anonymous said...

New Yorkers are so rude!

Noelle Hancock said...

Um...okay! lol!

BCA said...

your ipod clearly goaded you into that entire encounter.