So I’m peeing in the women's bathroom at my dentist’s office. The whole day I’ve had the Jackson Five song “I Want You Back” in my head and as I’m wriggling back into my panties I sing out, “When I had you to myself, I didn’t want you arooouuund –” Then suddenly I hear it. A rustle. The sound of bathroom tissue on human tissue. I flush and exit the stall and realize that I’m not alone. There is someone going Number Two in a stall off to the side that I didn’t notice when I came in. She is wearing bad, summer-inappopriate shoes.
I'm left with a choice to make: Do I act like I knew she was there the whole time and keep singing the song? Or do I just leave that one line awkwardly hanging in the air and run out? I choose to run. I'm not even going to lie and pretend that I washed my hands.