Is Facebook trying to tell me something? Specifically that I am a poor, 28-year-old out of shape blogger whose liver is headed for the endangered species list? Keep an eye on the space on the left.
Are they really getting a bunch of drunk people behind their computers at the same time and calling it Happy Hour? Isn't that just called Blogging?
Is it that obvious?
You just lost yourself two tickets to the gun show, Facebook.
Is there anything less appealing than the idea of attending college via the internet? It takes all the fun parts out of higher education. "University of Phoenix Online: Just like regular college except without parties and hate sex!"
I guess it probably doesn't help that I'm in the middle of shoving forkfuls of wedding cake into my mouth. But what's with all the "28 and out of shape" and "overweight at 28" business? Will I escape this abuse when I turn 29 in a few weeks or will I get a whole new set of insulting rhymes?
And now that dog has an eating disorder.
Just one reason, among many, why you shouldn't order drinks with names like The Flaming Volcano.