The plane is not going to crash.
There’s no point in making piecrust from scratch.
The reason you’re waking up in the middle of the night is the second glass of wine.
If only one third of your clothes are mistakes, you’re ahead of the game.
Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five.
There are more but I won't spoil them for you. Off the top of my head, below are a few pieces of my own wisdom that I’ve accrued over the years. Some of these missives have probably been said before by other people, yet it seems like we always have to experience them for ourselves before we believe it.
-- If you’re wondering whether or not he cheated on you, he probably did.
-- Always go on the interview, even if you don’t want the job.
-- You should always make friends with the people in the tech department.
-- Once you overpluck your eyebrows they’ll never grow back the same way again.
-- If try to take Astroglide on vacation it will leak all over the place and ruin your luggage.
-- Mini-umbrellas are engineered to break after the fifth use.
-- Women apologize too much. Men don’t apologize enough.
-- Laser hair removal doesn’t work all that well.
-- Once you download AIM onto your laptop, it’s never quite as fast as it was before, even if you uninstall it.
-- If you’ve seen one Law & Order episode you’ve seen them all (trust me, I’ve seen them all).