Thursday, May 29, 2008

Indiana Jones And The Numerous Leaps Of Logic And Random, Unexplained Natives Appearing Out Of Nowhere

Never thought you'd see the day when Indy was riding bitch, did ya?

I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull last weekend, a film which my friend Jessica aptly described as "the equivalent of a big dumb puppy." As soon as those computer-generated prairie dogs appeared onscreen in the opening sequence, I turned to the person next to me and said, "I think that pretty much sets the tone for the entire production, don't you?" (Though I did enjoy the scenes that were shot at Yale.)

My friend Mark had a similar reaction. He says: “I turned to my friend and asked, ‘What is this, fucking Caddyshack?’ At least they didn't steal his fedora and escape down a hole. I hated. Hated. Indy. I wanted so badly to like it. But I just sat there for two hours, being alternately confused/appalled about how pandering it was to kids. Prairie dogs? Monkeys? Tarzan vine swings? Cheap aliens? George Lucas needs to be shot into space.”


Damien said...

I could not agree with you more. Going in I had loved the first three movies... sadly I think this piece of evolutionary regression has tainted my thoughts on all the Indy movies now... booooo George Lucas!

J said...

I haven't seen it, but it sounds like Lucas and Speilberg have gone back to the well one too many times.

But who knows - if it makes a lot of money, they might make another one. I was trying to think what the title of the next installment might be. Here are my ideas...

- Indiana Jones and the Arthritic Knees

- Indiana Jones and the Missing Social Security Check

- Indiana Jones and the Haunted Hover-Round

- Indiana Jones and Leaky Catheter

- Indiana Jones and the Little Blue Pills

- Indiana Jones and the Twisted Metal Walker

- Indiana Jones and the Ancient Relic

The description for the last one would be: "An aging Hollywood star sadly tried to recapture his youth by making adventure movies, wearing an earring and marrying actresses 35 years his junior.