Wednesday, April 02, 2008

2008 Jennifer Aniston Slowly Reverting Back To 1996 Jennifer Aniston

Is it just me or do you feel like you're looking at a photo of Friends-era Aniston here, even though this pic was just taken Tuesday? Her weight's back up to the level it was at before she and Courteney started competitive dieting. Her hair is The Color Rachel. And just look at those frayed jean shorts. I totally had a pair of those back in high school that I used to wear with a brown braided belt and my shirts tucked in. To be fair, I think she's filming a spot for her new film Marley & Me. But still,I'm half expecting her to show up on Adam Duritz's arm with, like, a smile on her face.

I also like how it looks like she has four arms. Whenever I'm at parties, I'm always struck at how badly designed the human body is for socializing. We need four arms -- one to hold the plate of food, one to transport the food from the plate to our mouth, one to hold a drink, and one to shake people's hands.

Anyway, this photo makes me want to reach out to that Aniston -- with all four of my imaginary arms! -- and warn her, "Girl, don't listen to the hype. When the rain starts to fall, we will so not be there for you. The public is going to abandon you and become enamored of a big-boobied, husband-stealing do-gooder. Hurry, go find some orphans now. Collect 'em all!"

1 comment:

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