Thursday, March 06, 2008

Well, This Sucks

This has been the situation for about a week now. Perhaps this is the Universe's way to get me to stop drinking. Or to concentrate more fully on hard liquor. I think this is the real reason so many women are keen to cohabitate. They should add this to the marriage vows: "I take you as my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold and to help get the damn cork off the cork screw when the situation calls for it." This is pretty much what I look like after a bottle of wine, by the way.


Sean said...

Do you have another corkscrew of some sort? If so, thread the second screw into the end of the cork, perpendicular to the direction of the first screw (hopefully you have enough un-screwed cork to get the second screw in without hitting the first screw.)

This will give you more leverage with which to unscrew the cork from the first screw.

You shouldn't have a hard time removing the cork from the second screw, as it won't driven as deeply into the cork as the first one.

Sean said...

Wow. So many missed opportunities for innuendo in that first post. That's what I get for thinking like the engineer that I am and not the pervert my mother wanted me to be.

Anonymous said...

it looks like your corkscrew needs to be circumcised.

CajunKate said...

I think it's the universe's way of telling you to empower yourself and just get a wine opener. Best thing I EVER did. No man needed. Super easy. You'll never have stuck, broken, or floating cork again.

Anonymous said...

That's you apres-vino? Pardon the bluntness, but what's that huge thing between your legs?


Teddy said...

>>This is pretty much what I look like after a bottle of wine, by the way.

And the cork is hanging out your butt..??