Monday, February 18, 2008
Top of the Morning
This morning I woke up, showered, got dressed, made by bed, fed my parakeets and was on my way out the door to go to work when I looked down at my cell and realized it was 4:30 in the morning. I lay back in bed for an hour and a half until it was time to really get up. During that period I dreamed that I went to my office and found John Krasinski -- who in my dream, worked at my office -- using my electric toothbrush. Then we had a shootout and killed each other and then our ghosts went vacationing in the Mediterranean with Lindsay Lohan, who was pissed because the ocean was full of sharks and she couldn’t go swimming. Honestly.
My brother did something similar at the age of 12 after deciding to take a nap after school. He woke up at 7 p.m. and thought that he’d slept all the way till 7 a.m. so he jumped on his bike and started pedaling to school. Only when he noticed that the sun was going down and not up did he realize his folly. At the time I’d told him that he should have just kept pedaling to school because he obviously needed to hit the books a little harder if he was that retarded. Now the ’tard is I. And while I may be smarter than a 5th grader, 6th grade was apparently pushing it.