Thursday, February 21, 2008

Introducing Madame Butterflies


I don't know about you but my money's on the one on the left.

Something happens to me whenever I go on TV. I get so nervous that my heart starts pounding and I feel like I’m going to throw up a herd of butterflies. This happened last week when I went on an entertainment television show to talk about Heath Ledger. Afterwards I called up one of my gays to commiserate.

Gay Friend: “How did that TV appearance turn out?”

Me: “I was so nervous that I could actually hear my heart beating while I was sitting there being interviewed. I could barely even hear the anchor's questions! And it was beating so fast that I wondered if I was going to have a heart attack. I thought, ‘Ohmigod, what if I die right here live on the air while I’m talking about the death of Heath Ledger? Then they’ll have to bring in another talking head to commentate on my death in some sort of meta-segment with one of those terrible names like ‘The Death of Gossip’ or something.”

Gay Friend: “Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Noelle. No one’s going to be commentating on your death.”

1 comment:

Steve H. said...

You've touched my black soul of doom with your story, Noelle.

Inform your gay friend that I totally want it noted for the record that I absolutely volunteer to comment on your demise when it comes.

You can't just fade out without a send off.