Thursday, February 28, 2008
Good Luck Buck
Conservative icon William F. Buckley, Jr. passed away this week and in tribute I am posting this picture I took with him during college while wearing a ridiculous slutty dress.* Buck and I met eight years ago during my sophomore year when he came to speak at a Yale Daily News banquet. Look how happy (horrified?) he looks to be so close to my décolletage!
I would like to point out that my dress was not originally this tight or this short. I wore it to homecoming in high school and ended up vomiting on my lap after drinking too much vodka. My mom threw it in the wash (I told her it was food poisoning) and it shrank. A lot. Stretchy faux velvet tends to do that. For whatever reason, when I put it on for the banquet, I did not realize or did not care how absurd and too small it had become. Self-awareness was never my strong suit.
This was the night I met my Main Gay, Chris, when we were seated at the same table during dinner. In fact, no one at our table knew each other so we sat there in uncomfortable silence for awhile until I broke the ice by asking, “Say, does anyone have any good urination/projectile vomiting stories?” It’s a great ice breaker because, let’s face it, everyone has one. The table instantly came alive. Everyone started talking at once. One guy recounted the time he was at a dorm party and had to hurl really badly so he ran into the bathroom, threw open the stall door and vomited everywhere -- to the dismay of the girl who was sitting there dropping a deuce.
Chris told the story of the time he’d been walking past Yale’s Casino Night – one of the most formal dances of the year -- and saw a girl in a gorgeous gown leaning up against a wall while her friends chatted a few feet away. As Chris looked on, the girl suddenly threw up all over herself. Unaware of what to do, she turned to her friends and (in a rather genius move) suddenly yelled, “You guys! Some guy just threw up all over me!” and her concerned friends rushed over going, “Oh my god! That’s terrible!”
Soon we were pounding the table with laughter, and all the other dinner guests were looking over at us in alarm -- including Buckley, who was speaking at the time. But he was a good sport and agreed to take a picture with me afterwards anyway. After the banquet we all alighted to a party in J.E. where there was a stripper pole set up in one of the dorm rooms. Obviously, there was some vodka that night as well.
R.I.P. Buck! I will treasure this picture always! And I will never wash this dress again. If I did, it would probably disappear entirely.
*I’m blocking out my face because it’s a highly unflattering photo and while I have no problem posting old humorous slutty pictures of myself, fugly pictures are no laughing matter.