Castro's Resignation Sponsored By Adidas

Meanwhile, Cuba's HR Department continues to remind Fidel that he won't get his last paycheck until he turns in his official letter of resignation.

My friend from college, John Phillips, is a screenwriter and performs in the sketch comedy group Trophy Dad. He’s one of those people who is so quick-witted that you can throw anything at him and he instantly comes back with a couple of hilarious one-liners. Here’s what he had to say when I emailed him to ask “What do you think about Castro stepping down?”

-- Castro may be stepping down, but his beard is staying in power.

-- Wasn’t Castro rumored to have tried out for a professional baseball team or something? Maybe he’s retiring from politics to pursue his major league baseball career full-time again? I mean, he is still younger than Roger Clemens.

-- Now that Castro is retiring, he can return to his former position as one of the corpses in the "Thriller" video.

-- Finally the CIA can end their covert operation to put LSD in his adult diapers.

-- Reportedly Castro's main reason for stepping down was to focus on his new one-man step-dance show, "The Bay of Jigs.”