Tuesday, January 29, 2008

More Awkward Moments With My Super

Yesterday I asked my super, Stefan, to come fix my bathtub because it wasn’t draining well. When I got home from work, I found that he had replaced my bathtub drain. I also found a pair of my panties covered in dirt and soaking wet and sitting in the middle of my bathroom sink. This was not just any pair of panties, mind you. This was a pair that I never wear because I don’t like them (a relic from my ill-considered foray into the “boy briefs” trend), meaning that they always just sit in the back of my dresser drawer. Meaning that he had to have rifled through the drawer in order to reach said panties. How to proceed? I don’t even know how to broach this conversation.

“Hey Stefan! So after you fixed my bathtub the other day, did you, like, paw through my underwear drawer and extract a pair of my panties and use them to clean up the mess?”

Instead, I called one of my gays to complain.

Me: “My super used my panties to clean my bathtub drain. Who does that?"

Gay Friend: “Maybe he thought that they were a dish cloth?”

Me: “They clearly say Calvin Klein on them. Calvin doesn’t make dish cloths.”

Gay Friend: “And who would use Calvin Klein towels to clean a bathtub drain anyway? He must be straight.”


Geoff said...

One can only hope he only used the panties to clean up, the floor.

Sorry it had to be said.

BCA said...

Yes to Geoff's comment, but why even leave them? After whatever he used them for, just take them with you...isn't that a less confrontational path...

Laura said...

Oh LORD that's CREEPY!

Noelle Hancock said...

I still haven't been able to bring myself to move them. They're sitting in a crumpled heap on my bathroom floor. And since they were wet, they dried in the crumpled shape, too -- like panty rigor mortis or something.

roseykrh said...

Maybe it's not what you think. Maybe the panties were stuck in the drain and were the cause of it all. Imagine what he must think of you when he opens the drain and pulls out a pair of Calvin Kleins. He probably slung them into the floor just to get them the hell away from him.

Probably not true, but if you convince yourself it is you might feel better.

George G said...

Maybe they were the only ones that fit him?


Anonymous said...

Oh that is wrong wrong wrong. Hate to say it but if I were you I would search your apartment for hidden cameras. That overhead light fixture that looks like a breast with an eyeball? yeah, check that out REAL good.