Saturday, November 17, 2007
Cruising Stephanie March
Pretty much anyone who knows me is aware of my obsession with Law & Order, especially SVU. Hence my elation when I looked up from my manicure at Bloomie’s Nails on 23rd St. and 7th Ave. today and was faced with Stephanie March (aka: Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot). She was drying her nails at the dry station directly across from me.
What happened next was not unlike every interaction I had in middle school with Mikey Hyman, my unfortunately surnamed crush with whom I had a torrid one-sided affair from 6th through 8th grades. I loved him and would have had his babies, even though he barely knew who I was and I hadn’t gotten my period yet.
I immediately flushed bright red and shrank in my seat. I counted to 30 and then looked over at her and then looked away. A minute later I looked back. I would pretend I was looking around the room and then let my eyes rest on her for a second and then look down. Glance. Wait for one minute to pass. Glance. Glance.
Ohmigod. Did she see me looking at her just now? Does she know that I like her?Should I say something to her or is that just annoying? I should say something to her. Otherwise, I’ll regret it and hate myself later. Okay, but don’t be too needy. They don’t like that. You remember Jesse L. Martin back in 2004, don’t you? Should I make a move? Oh, she’s walking this way. Go, go, now now!!!
As she approached I thrust out my hand – Stop in the Name of Love-style – and she stopped and looked taken aback.
There were so many things I wanted to tell her. How she was even more beautiful in person. How brave she was when she took on the mob, then took a bullet in the shoulder and had to fake her own death and enter the witness protection program. How I didn’t blame her at all when her kid ate all those magnets last week on Grey’s Anatomy. How I didn’t really understand what she was doing in those white sweatpants with the black appliqué flowers up the side, but that I would support her no matter what.
Instead I just blurted out, “You were my favorite ADA!”
“Oh, thanks!” she said brightly. “Thanks so much for telling me that.”
She strode out the door. Normal breathing resumed. Man, it's like, I always knew she'd be cool, you know?
Posted by Noelle Hancock