Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Boo-Yah: Happy Halloween!

The thing about Halloween in New York City is it can often be difficult to tell if people are actually in costume or not. This is a town where I once sat next to a man on the subway dressed full-on as Merlin the Magician – in March.

As I strode around the city on Saturday night, I found myself wondering, “Is that guy in the cowboy boots, tiny athletic shorts and a baby-tee on his way to a Halloween party or is he just an East Village hipster tool?” and “Is that drag queen doing some trick or treating or is (s)he just turning tricks?” And of course, the eternal question: "Are those chicks dressed like naughty schoolgirls or are they really just sluts?" I don’t need to dress like a slut on Halloween because when I dress like a slut I do it on my own terms. With that in mind, this year I decided to go as a douchebag. I wore my douché t-shirt, a striped button down with a popped collar, indoor sunglasses, two bottles of Summer’s Eve strapped to my hips and impromptu finger guns.* Basically, I'm That Guy at the college frat party.

This idea would prove to be better in theory than in execution.

“But where’s the bag?” A male friend asked eyeing the douche bottles.

“There are no bags. It’s just bottles nowadays. No one’s used bags in years.”

“Oh,” says friend. [Looks confused]

What’s sad is that I showed up at a bar in Soho and almost every guy there was wearing the exact same thing (minus the douche bottles) and this time they really weren't in costume.

*As you can tell from the progression of photos, as the night wore on, many elements of the costume were drunkenly lost in various bars in NYC. And, really, what's douchier than that? Liquor treat!

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