Thursday, August 23, 2007

Woman Sets Fire to Ex-Husband's Penis

Amazing photo via the NY Times and taken during opening ceremonies at the 2006 Olympic Games. Amazing article courtesy of Reuters:

Woman Sets Fire to Ex-Husband's Penis
MOSCOW (Reuters) - A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.

Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict."

The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.

"It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. "I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

Well, for starters, you sat naked on the couch watching television and getting wasted. Seriously, no one needs to see that shit, particularly if they're no longer legally bound to do so. And can you blame the woman for not wanting your fucking skid marks all over her couch? If she was actually able to set fire to your penis, you also probably had a good deal of pubic hair to work with. Is it too much to ask for a trim once in awhile?

Are you listening, New York? This is what happens when you charge astronomical rents at unsustainable levels relative to incomes. So the next time you decide to hike someone's rent -- ahem -- 15% in one year, think of the people forced to share apartments with people they can barely stand because they can't afford otherwise. Then think of their ex-husbands who have highly flammable penises.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just FMI: what is the proper length to trim to? 6 in.? 7?