Thursday, August 30, 2007

An Open Letter To The Chick Who Put Her Mat Too Close To Mine In Yoga Class:

A yoga class with appropriate spacial dimensions. Just look at those Warrior 2's!

Dear Chick,

I presume – judging from the fact that you were wearing socks in class today – that you are new to yoga. I am pleased that you have chosen to join us. However, I must take issue with the close proximity of your yoga mat in today’s practice.

I arrived to class early and staked out my favorite corner. But then you came in one minute after class had started, plopped your mat down mere inches from mine and ruined everything. I just want to know why.

As Johnny told Baby in Dirty Dancing, "This is my space. This is your space. You don't go into my space and I don't go into yours." Why, then, were you all up in my space?! You had so much room on the other side of you!! I had nowhere to go. You had me up against a wall, a literal mirrored wall!

I'd have understood if it had been a particularly crowded lesson, but there were only seven of us in the class. Plenty of room for a little yoga urban sprawl. At one point, I made a big show of straightening my mat, hoping that you would take the hint and scoot over a little. Yet you stood firm (except when you were wobbling in the Tree Pose). Did you not notice how I had to wait and do every move 1 second after you so we could avoid wacking each other?

When we did Warrior 2 and you almost hit me in the face, for a moment I had wished that I was a real warrior so I could actually hit you in the face. Then I felt bad because that is not the yoga way.

Might I recommend that, moving forward, you allot for at least one to two feet between mats so that we can avoid such run-ins in the future.

See you next class!

Noelle Hancock

PS: If you would like to put Matts close to my yoga mat, however, that might be okay as I typically enjoy people named Matt.

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